Wednesday, March 10, 2010

T.O. + Ochocinco = Sports Euphoria

So the rumor is that Terrell Owens will sign with the Bengals, therefore bringing together the NFL's ultimate wide receiver entertainment duo.  Pop quiz: who are the two craziest, most ridiculous, most entertaining wide receivers in the last twenty years of NFL football?  If you said Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco, you'd be correct.

Which is why as a fan of sports-as-entertainment, I desperately hope that this deal happens.  Frankly, from a football perspective, the move makes a bit of sense.  Carson Palmer will throw the ball 40 times a game anyway, so having the two greediest receivers in the league shouldn't be a problem.  And despite being such a pass-heavy offense, the Bengals were hurt by their lack of capable receivers last year, especially after Chris Henry died.  Ochocinco isn't enough on his own, and Ryan Fitzpatrick's reliance on T.O. last season made it clear that Owens still has some gas in the tank.

But really, who cares?  The only thing that really matters here is that Owens and Ochocinco are going to combine to make the Bengals into the Harlem Globetrotters of the NFL- only mean.  I think I also read somewhere that Cincinnati is looking into signing Pacman Jones, Keyshawn Johnson and Latrell Sprewell.

The last couple of seasons has seen the Bengals trying to clean up their image.  Signing T.O. would be Marvin Lewis & co. saying, "Screw it- let's just put fans in the seats and boost the t.v. ratings."  And I offer a hearty amen.  This is Britney Spears touring with Lady Gaga.  It's Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura on the same presidential ticket.  On the basis of pure insanity/entertainment value, you can't draw it up any better.

Scratch that: I just thought of one way.  Picture Roger Goodell at the podium speaking these words: "With the 21st pick of the 2010 NFL draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select: Tim Tebow."  Now that's a reality show that I'd watch.


  1. I hate to disappoint, because as you say, this would be pure awesome. But the Bengals decided not to sign T.O., and even if they did, they would've just ran the ball with Cedric Benson 500 times anyway.

  2. So sad, I know. I saw that they signed Bryant today and I almost cried a little.